What's the funniest joke you've heard lately????

[Masika :)]

i wanna hear some funny jokes cos i havent heard any for ages :(
SO TELL ME SOME!!! haha :)
i'm joke deprived :p ... lol :D

[Young&Hopeless]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a feild!


Thats the best joke ever! They dont come much better than that!, lol :D x

[satya moort]

http://www.song-list.net/goodcharlotte/allblack/tracks very nice song.

[Noodles]

Why did Hitler commit suicide?
Because he got the gas bill.

And thats all i have really heard recently, sorry.

[Tanya]

LOl, that is a good one, sick but good!!

[Jane Visions]

I'd tell you a few of mine, but the only good ones are either dirty, racist or plain out mean.

[♪♫Psychobabble ™]

thats like most of the ones i get told

[Masika :)]

haha.. go ahead :) ... im all for hearing!!!! XD

[♪♫Psychobabble ™]

This is a long one. I got told it at the vets i used to work at

A man walks into a Vet Surgery with his parot to see the vet. "Could you help me, my bird hasn't eaten food for 3 days and he's not as chatty as he used to be".

The Vet nods in understanding and lifts the bird out of its cage, and lays it on the table. The bird is cold and and is stiff as a board. "Sorry sir", the vet replies, "the bird is dead".

"No, that can't be right", argues the owner. "Surely i can pay for tests, I know the bird isn't dead".

So the vet leaves the room, and comes in with a tabby cat, who he places on the table next to the bird. The cat sniffs at the bird, walks round the bird a few times looking the bird over. It then sits down, looks at the vet and shakes its head.

"This cat agrees with me", the Vet says to the owner. "The bird is dead".

The owner shakes his head is disbelief, "no that's not right. Surely I can pay for one more test, I know he's not dead".
The vet sighs, picks up the cat and once again leaves the room. When he returns, he is leading in a beautiful chocolate coloured Labradour. He leads the dog to the table, where the dog puts his front paws onto the table, along side the non-responsive bird. The dog sniffs at the bird, looks at the vet and shakes his head.

"The dog also agrees with me", the Vet states. "The bird is dead."

The owner becomes distraught, "no, I can pay for more tests. The bird can't be dead".

The Vet sighs again. "Listen, sir, the bird is dead, both the cat scan and the lab reports prove it"


Cat scan, lab reports, geddit? Sorry, its one of the only clean jokes I know

[Masika :)]

haha!!! yea!! funnyyyyyyyy!!! :P

[Jane Visions]

How do you start a black parade?
Roll a coin down the street.

____________

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

_________

[Masika :)]

hahaa!!! LOL